Awkward Seduction: December 2012

Welcome!!

Once upon a time a boy looked into the eyes of a beautiful browned eyed girl and said "Beth. . .you are the most socially awkward person I know"
Beth gazed with utter astonishment into the blue eyes of the boy and responded, very sweetly,. . ."Look who's talking".
Prompted by the compliment the boy so condescendingly bestowed, Beth felt she should strive and live up to this new 'title'.
And Yet!!! Is this enough??? What shall Beth do with this newly discovered talent?? It must be put to good use.
One day, while stalking boys on facebook, Beth found the solution to her problem, an inspiring quote:
' I don't need to flirt, I will SEDUCE you with my AWKWARDNESS.' Brilliant!!
Here's the Plan: Beth goes to every YSA activity she can find. Then she flirts with Random boys. Perhaps some will be intimidated but she won't let that discourage her. If Beth is not Married or Engaged by her 30th Birthday she solomnly promises to kiss the first boy she meets at Red Lobster. On her birthday.
To follow the adventures of Beth please read the following blog and offer advice and suggestions of how she can develop her talent most efficiently. HURRY she only has 8 years to go.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Don't I wish. . .

My Romantic Life is on the rocks. I haven't flirted with a guy in, like, 5 months. I need help. I NEED YOU TO SET ME UP WITH SOMEONE!!!
But, you may ask, what kind of guy does Beth even LIKE???
No worries I took that into consideration and researched extensively.
I like,Tall, slender, muscular, white, foreign accented men.

Here are some examples

Neil Jackson; I couldn't find any photo's of him where he didn't look gay, but. . .
he talks like this : 'Raining? It's chucking it down. Wouldn't fancy living at the bottom of a hill in this weather!!!' (actual quote. I stalked him on facebook). He is from England. Fancy that.

Demitry; winner of Project Runway Season 10. I enjoy tall pale Belarusians. (Side note: I have been in Belarus. End of side note). Besides designing clothes he is a professional ballroom dancer. umm yeah!

Richard Armitage: Beautiful Man. Beautiful Dwarf. He is a sweetheart.

Benedict Cumberbatch; I love Sherlock Holmes and bad guys on Star Trek. Oddly enough he plays both. Perhaps this is why I like Sherlock Holmes and bad guys on Star Trek. Nevermind the details

This Jewish Man. Have I mentioned my love of noses?? So what if he's from Pittsburgh.

Does that help you all in the search???

I request that you would start looking quick because I just spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME doing mindless research/stalking/wishing/dreaming.
I need a boyfriend, quick.

Another side note: I have a job interview at the State Archives tomorrow. Please think and pray for me.
Because if I don't get a job I like, I will probably continue to sit at home stalking celebrities on the internet. Thank you.
Love,
Beth