Welcome!!

Once upon a time a boy looked into the eyes of a beautiful browned eyed girl and said "Beth. . .you are the most socially awkward person I know"
Beth gazed with utter astonishment into the blue eyes of the boy and responded, very sweetly,. . ."Look who's talking".
Prompted by the compliment the boy so condescendingly bestowed, Beth felt she should strive and live up to this new 'title'.
And Yet!!! Is this enough??? What shall Beth do with this newly discovered talent?? It must be put to good use.
One day, while stalking boys on facebook, Beth found the solution to her problem, an inspiring quote:
' I don't need to flirt, I will SEDUCE you with my AWKWARDNESS.' Brilliant!!
Here's the Plan: Beth goes to every YSA activity she can find. Then she flirts with Random boys. Perhaps some will be intimidated but she won't let that discourage her. If Beth is not Married or Engaged by her 30th Birthday she solomnly promises to kiss the first boy she meets at Red Lobster. On her birthday.
To follow the adventures of Beth please read the following blog and offer advice and suggestions of how she can develop her talent most efficiently. HURRY she only has 8 years to go.

Monday, August 27, 2012

The Gentle Let Down

Translation: You creep me out! Leave me alone before I get out my pepper spray, call the police, hire a lawyer who will take you to court to issue a restraining order.

This week someone, who will remain nameless, gave me the 'gentle let down'.
He said something like this; "Beth, you are such an amazing, awesome, incredible, insightful, sensitive, hilarious, sincere, honest, kind and SPECIAL person. . . But I am not interested in dating you.

I will be honest, I was flabbergasted! What did I do to get the 'gentle let down' from a 21 year kid? What gave him the idea I was interested???
All I did was:
Yell his name repetatively
Touch his knee with mine
Dance with him
Give him my phone number
Take him to a special room where mothers nurse their babies
Ask him to go to Richmond VA, where I am supposedly visiting my friend Laura, but secretly hoping to see him.

REALLY?? I mean COME ON!
I do that with all the boys!

But honestly, despite his inaccurate assumption of my feelings toward him, he did let me down quite gently.
The last guy who turned me down. . .hmmmm. . .
Actually I can't remember the last guy who turned me down. Usually I am the one. My method is a little different. Not quite as nice, but fairly effective. . .
I run and hide. After five minutes of a desperate search he concludes I am dead and finds another girl to stalk.

P.S.
Yesterday I joined LDS Singles dot Org
Expect hilarious narratives in the coming days
So far a 48 year old man from Virginia looked at my profile. hehe. . .

This is going to be AWESOME


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3 comments:

  1. Ethan DiltsAugust 27, 2012 at 1:51 PM

    Oh heavens, I'm quite looking forward to hilarious antics from lds singles. :-D I eagerly await shenanigans.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stephen SanfordAugust 27, 2012 at 7:45 PM

    You'll find tons of awesome people on that website. Hahaha I'm hoping to hear more! More of your crazy antics anyway =P

    ReplyDelete
  3. AJ CandrianAugust 29, 2012 at 7:31 AM

    You're hilarious!

    ReplyDelete

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